The anniversary, two days late
that day reminds of the lesson i should have learnt a year ago. Yet no regrets remain but a flicker of a second for me. This past year has been the most curious of my middling lifetime. The only hope I have the remains unfulfilled is that I wish the lady would be a little less stubborn... though come to think of it, that might be impossible to ponder upon considering the temperament of the kind so like my own, ha.
This next year, will be the greatest test of patience the Divine has ever given me, and welcome it i do, with an Apollonian relish.
The Dream
i had the most vivid and beautiful dream last night. Usually i always know when i'm dreaming, but last night, i didn't...
the setting is thus, i was on the 6 train and she was on the 4 train, we were in our respective last cars and both trains were stranded in the station. I think it was the subways but really the trains looked like Metro North. It is appropriate, I suppose, that that image is used here... There was no one else on either cars. There could have been people in mine, perhaps I just failed to notice. she wouldn't have, so since she spoke, i assume her car was empty too.
we talked, over the opened doors, as the trains sat there. it was the most poignant words i've ever heard her speak. In the end, she gave me an explanation. The one thing I longed for.
Then the trains were beginning to move, hers i mean. and I stepped out of mine, but didn't go to hers. She said something else, and there were tears in her eyes. I stood and watched her train doors close and leave. My train left too and i'm left on the platform and i sank to my knees in a gesture of supplication that i'ven't performed since before i understood what it meant.
i could almost feel that i was feeling. then i awoke.
the dream is like the gift of the gods that I've only... dreamt about. It is fitting. and nothing she said was new, but still it was... astounding. I... want to remember this, as part of the memory of her. More than anything, I want to remember
i'm leaving
and i've arrived i sought the truth and found lies i opened my heart, and i lost it I turned around, only to turn back again
